You all have been equally loving with the divorce news. Thank you! Many were surprised and sad, because you've been contending for better for Rick and I for a long time.

Today, I'm feeling the loss of my friend and the possibilities of God's better WITH Rick and I. One of you mentioned your difficult divorce and marriage with a husband who was a pastor and then turned away from God. Your story of healing and freedom since then blessed me. Rick was never a pastor, but he was a believer when I met him. He gave me my first Bible! Here is what I communicated to that sister. I'm sharing to give you a glimpse of the prayers for my heart today.

👉 I am excited for that greater expression of freedom! An IG friend in a split marriage with lots of volatility over the years because of that spiritual difference messaged me, too. She said "being married to a non-believer is like night and day". It TRULY is: light and dark. God knows the end from the beginning and I don't regret one minute of my marriage or the love we (sometimes it FELT like just me, but that's not true) shared. It was really, really hard, but I've been stretched so much, refined immensely myself, and have such a greater understanding of the Father's love for ME because I pressed in to love my husband each and every day. Sometimes it was easy. And that's what I grieve. I know the man he is; deep in that surrendered, healed, whole, and fearless place. I see it and if he never steps into it with God, this world will lack. I feel that lack and loss myself right now, but I'm trusting God for His faithfulness to my future. 👈

As I feel the weight of this loss today, I'm tempted to remind myself of all the bad things Rick did to me. It seems like a reasonable choice, since it's the good things and the hope for that wonderful future that has my heart sad today. Remembering the bad would give me immediate relief and a "good riddance" kind of feeling.

Even though that might make me FEEL better right now, I KNOW that the longterm fruit of that is destructive. I see that choice building bitterness in my heart, which will only serve to hurt me and any other relationships (romantic or otherwise vulnerable loving ones) God has for my future (and present). Ooohhh, I wish it were easy!

So, my ask is that you'd join me in prayer that I RESIST that "simple" escape today and that instead, God would comfort me in a way that only He can. That He would come heal my broken heart and breathe life, hope, purity, and freedom into my future.

My meditation for today: Don't run away from grief. Run to the One who bore it and cry there as long as it takes.

But [in fact] He has borne our griefs, And He has carried our sorrows and pains; Yet we [ignorantly] assumed that He was stricken, Struck down by God and degraded and humiliated [by Him]. (Isaiah 53:4 AMP)

P.S. It's on my list to give you a tutorial to navigate and understand this platform sometime this week. Thank you for being here! ❤

#divorce #firechallenge #grief